Spread the LOVE.

Wow... long time no post! My last one was almost 9 months ago. And again, so much has happened. I don't want to roll everything up tho, I want to give you an impression of what I am being present to right now.

I just came back from an inspriring trip to California. There, I was reunited with my boyfriend who had been there for 2 months to work for Jon Marro and Blend Apparel. We had the best time EVER. It was amazing to be around the person you love 24/7 again. I missed that so much. Also, we experienced amazing things, saw beautiful places, met and spent time with great people. One of them certainly is Mr. Marro. He is a leader, a hero and just the most inspiring person.

During our stay in San Francisco, Jon did a juice cleanse after having dealt with some problems due to a food poisoning. He let us try his juice and I had to admit to myself that it wasn't too bad. However, it didn't instantly make me want to try it.

Also, we visited Café Gratitude a lot and I grew more and more fond of raw/vegan food. It was something we really missed on our last part of the trip when we were in San Diego/LA. Eventho we say that we need baked goods sometimes or meat, or maybe even a burger, you do appreciate something like Café Gratitude even more when you're not around one!

So last week I was surfing around on the Café Gratitude website and saw this ad for the Juice Club! It is a newsletter-type of thing by Terces Engelhard (the founder of CG) that is being sent out each first week of the month to support and advise juicers! In that moment I thought "Why not try it?". So I signed up for it and told myself that I was committed to doing it at least 3 days.

The idea is to give your digestive system a rest for a period of time from processing food. Instead, you make juices out of fresh fruits and raw veggies. What I found to be incedibly awesome, is making your own fresh almond milk. It tastes amazing. And I'm sure I'm going to go on with it "outside" of this cleanse. I'm in Day 2 right now and have just devoured my almond milk-banana-date-smoothie, which is too die for. I feel great. And so far, I haven't been really hungry yet. Of course, sometimes you crave a bagel or a sausage or whatever, but then you think "I chose it."...


I have to say, I am incredibly fortunate to have the support of my loving boyfriend, eventho he is not here with me. I am so grateful for him every single day of my existence, as he empowers me and gives me strength, he believes me and loves me like noone else.

I would like to thank you, Emile, for everything you do. Also, I thank Jon and Niki, Sophia, Marie, Cat, Vallie... it doesn't matter how long you spend time with each other, is matters what impact you have on people and how far you allow others to have an impact on you.

Thank you, Terces. I'll try my best.


LoVE.

I can still remember last Christmas. Not too much because of what I got, but because of how we celebrated it. It all seems so normal, a (fairly) big tree, lit candels, the family sitting in the living room, eating Raclette... I even remember how my Dad had one of my Mum's rings fixed and taped onto a hairdryer he got her for Christmas, because if fit there so perfecty... random.

One year passed. A lot of things happened.

Now we're here again, it's Christmas. But everything is different. Dad is in a wheelchair and there's a bed in our living room, because he can't walk stairs properly yet. There's a mini Christmas tree with only three candels. We won't be able to sit in the living room together and Dad won't give out funny presents like he did when he gave my brother a fake banana to get over his banana phobia.

Still, I'm fine with that, as we probably have been gifted with the greatest present ever - the gift of life. It's something we tend to forget and it makes me sad sometimes. Despite of all the pain, anger and fear we have felt and still feel occasionally, we have to keep in mind that we are still in this together, that there is something worth fighting for. It's love.

So even if you're scared of being hurt, disappointed or rejected, there is nothing wrong with telling a special person that you love them. I encourage you to do that. You might be surprised. And you might be glad you did, even if it didn't turn out the way you wished for.

I didn't wish for a lot this year or this Christmas. However, I was given more than I had ever expected. I feel blessed about being loved.



Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, everyone! Let's reach out and make it the best day ever, the best Christmas ever.

In love and gratitude,
Antonia

... as in the Dutch live version of Bushwalla's "Tiger Spots" (to be uploaded by Emile).


It all started with this:

Billy and I have just set a new date for my LRC in Amsterdam: 31 october He'll be in Europe till half november

That was posted by Emile in RKOP back in July.

Time warp. 30 October.
A girl packs up her things having "ants in her pants", like my old Biology teacher used to say.

The next day.
6 o'clock. Alarm bell. Gosh, so early. Who cares...

I left the house around 8 and prayed that neither the bus nor the train would be delayed, 'cause I still had to get the tickets and money at the Frankfurt main station. They weren't and I was happy. I stepped into the train, had a moment of embarassment like every other day when I asked the waiter in the train about my ticket (why the heck do they all wear the same uniforms? So contraproductive.) Found and empty seat, sat down and started my laptop in order to catch up with "Heroes" again, I had forgotten so much. Another moment of embarassment when Nikki/Jessica was taking her clothes off in the show - I bet the guy next to me thought "What the heck???". Ah, doesn't matter. Another funny anecdote: The Dutch train official guy made me pay the child's fee from the boarder to Utrecht, which cracked me up. How humbling. I texted Emile and that was when he shot me back that I had to keep my eyes open for Billy and Bruski riding bikes in the city.
Train ride was great. I actually wanted to sleep, because I stayed up so late the night before, but I just couldn't. The Pilot episode was very long and I didn't want to miss the Utrecht station.

I arrived at about 1 o'clock. Took my stuff and made my way through the insanely strange station, it's hard to explain why it is so strange, you'd have to go see yourself. Here's a small impression:



On with the story. I strolled through town and saw all those little shops, brick walls and cobblestone streets. Very pretty. Then I came to the canal. I didn't find out if there is only one or a few ones, because there was also one passing Emile's house more or less. The small streets on both sides were very crowded, especially people riding bikes dominated my vision. So "Be on the lookout for Billy and Bruski" turned out to be harder than I would've thought. I visited the church and spent quite some time listening to the choir in there. It was a very mixed one, from little girls to older ladies and men accompanied by a great string and horn arrangement.




I had some Dutch fries with mayo after that and then sat down to rest my feet and my shoulders, because they were starting to hurt from the long walk with my heavy bag. I loved watching people pass by and seeing a bit of the life in this beautiful town.

After some text messages back and forth and another journey through the station, Emile and Lisa picked me up with the car and we drove to Emile's parents' house. I stepped in and immediately felt at home. What a nice welcome by the whole family. We all set down and had a few Proseccos, which ironically helped my headache, and talked about anything and everything. Emile told me that Billy'd still be asleep due to the jetlag and stuff. He showed up about half an hour later totally sleepy and with bed hair, so funny. First thing, he gave out hugs to everyone and turning to me a "I like your shirt." It didn't feel weird at all. I wasn't exited or anything. It was so casual. A few people sitting in a living room together and chatting, as easy as that.
I told Billy about Julz and a few incredible coincidences, how my mum loves "Self Deprecating Hip-Hop", we discussed the meaning of it a bit, he said that he'll sport Elfish ears that night and that Lord of the Rings puts him to sleep, that Jon Marro is writing a movie script about a horn fish (or what was it called, Emile?), he told us about his first record he recorded with Jason before "Waiting For My Record To Come", about the house in San Diego and the hot tub, the cats and the Avocado trees...
We had an amazing dinner after that, Emile's dad had been hunting and his mom made pastry. We also had pumpkin soup from the pumpkins Lisa and Emile prepared for downstairs.

... taken from Greg Laswell album "Three Flights from Alto Nido".

Life is hard.

University has started for me and it turned out much more difficult than I would've expected. Creating a time table is... almost like art. You REALLY want to get it done, doesn't matter what, but you just can't. It's something bigger than you.
Still I had a lot of positive experiences, I made a few friends I guess and due to my good orientation I've never felt completely lost. Plus, it's all a matter of looking at it. If something doesn't work out this semester, just do it next semester, whatever. Nobody cares anyway.

In order to come back to the title... When I think of waves, I think of ups and downs. There have been a lot of ups and downs in my life this year - a stroke of faith (literally) and a lot of family issues being downs, but meeting amazing people and incredible memories being ups. I'm very grateful for that.

Waves also stand for things coming back... That the first moment won't be the last. This is what I hold on to when I think of a lot of things. Seeing treasured people again, experienceing awesome concerts, or simply a state of happiness.

I know it doesn't always come easily. I know what I'm speaking of. Today my dad had an attack again which brought him back to hospital. Sadly, that is the other side of the coin - bad things are likely to come back, too. But you have to think about it - you can only be stronger and prepared next time. Even if there is little hope.


Just BE Love and love will come back to you. In waves... so you can be sure it will.


Leaving you with this amazing song:

Some of you might know that I picked up the ukulele a few months ago. I've been in love ever since, but especially since I found an awesome community called "Ukulele Underground". Those people are incredibly nice and helpful.
The video above was recorded by many members on behalf of the sudden death of a fellow member, Captain Google. I think it's a wonderful tribute and you should all see it!


However, what I want to blog about today is a wish list. So here are some things I'm dying to possess or I'm just drooling over...

• Surf-green Fender Stratocaster - doesn't it look awesome??
  
  

• Banjolele - the sound is so cute!!
  
  

• Trip to NYC with two amazing ladies around New Year's - it would be the perfect finish of an exciting year!
  
  

• Meeting these amazing people again and being able to see them live...
  
  

• Going to Norway and getting to know all the crazy folks up there =)

• Being a better person.

Well... a girl can dream, right?

Question: What do YOU wish for? What are YOU grateful for today?