Spread the LOVE.

Cleansing and Feeding my Soul

2010-09-02T13:47:00.012+02:00

Wow... long time no post! My last one was almost 9 months ago. And again, so much has happened. I don't want to roll everything up tho, I want to give you an impression of what I am being present to right now.

I just came back from an inspriring trip to California. There, I was reunited with my boyfriend who had been there for 2 months to work for Jon Marro and Blend Apparel. We had the best time EVER. It was amazing to be around the person you love 24/7 again. I missed that so much. Also, we experienced amazing things, saw beautiful places, met and spent time with great people. One of them certainly is Mr. Marro. He is a leader, a hero and just the most inspiring person.

During our stay in San Francisco, Jon did a juice cleanse after having dealt with some problems due to a food poisoning. He let us try his juice and I had to admit to myself that it wasn't too bad. However, it didn't instantly make me want to try it.

Also, we visited Café Gratitude a lot and I grew more and more fond of raw/vegan food. It was something we really missed on our last part of the trip when we were in San Diego/LA. Eventho we say that we need baked goods sometimes or meat, or maybe even a burger, you do appreciate something like Café Gratitude even more when you're not around one!

So last week I was surfing around on the Café Gratitude website and saw this ad for the Juice Club! It is a newsletter-type of thing by Terces Engelhard (the founder of CG) that is being sent out each first week of the month to support and advise juicers! In that moment I thought "Why not try it?". So I signed up for it and told myself that I was committed to doing it at least 3 days.

The idea is to give your digestive system a rest for a period of time from processing food. Instead, you make juices out of fresh fruits and raw veggies. What I found to be incedibly awesome, is making your own fresh almond milk. It tastes amazing. And I'm sure I'm going to go on with it "outside" of this cleanse. I'm in Day 2 right now and have just devoured my almond milk-banana-date-smoothie, which is too die for. I feel great. And so far, I haven't been really hungry yet. Of course, sometimes you crave a bagel or a sausage or whatever, but then you think "I chose it."...

I have to say, I am incredibly fortunate to have the support of my loving boyfriend, eventho he is not here with me. I am so grateful for him every single day of my existence, as he empowers me and gives me strength, he believes me and loves me like noone else.

I would like to thank you, Emile, for everything you do. Also, I thank Jon and Niki, Sophia, Marie, Cat, Vallie... it doesn't matter how long you spend time with each other, is matters what impact you have on people and how far you allow others to have an impact on you.

Thank you, Terces. I'll try my best.

LoVE.

The Loving Holiday Blog

2009-12-21T10:51:00.009+01:00

I can still remember last Christmas. Not too much because of what I got, but because of how we celebrated it. It all seems so normal, a (fairly) big tree, lit candels, the family sitting in the living room, eating Raclette... I even remember how my Dad had one of my Mum's rings fixed and taped onto a hairdryer he got her for Christmas, because if fit there so perfecty... random.

One year passed. A lot of things happened.

Now we're here again, it's Christmas. But everything is different. Dad is in a wheelchair and there's a bed in our living room, because he can't walk stairs properly yet. There's a mini Christmas tree with only three candels. We won't be able to sit in the living room together and Dad won't give out funny presents like he did when he gave my brother a fake banana to get over his banana phobia.

Still, I'm fine with that, as we probably have been gifted with the greatest present ever - the gift of life. It's something we tend to forget and it makes me sad sometimes. Despite of all the pain, anger and fear we have felt and still feel occasionally, we have to keep in mind that we are still in this together, that there is something worth fighting for. It's love.

So even if you're scared of being hurt, disappointed or rejected, there is nothing wrong with telling a special person that you love them. I encourage you to do that. You might be surprised. And you might be glad you did, even if it didn't turn out the way you wished for.

I didn't wish for a lot this year or this Christmas. However, I was given more than I had ever expected. I feel blessed about being loved.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, everyone! Let's reach out and make it the best day ever, the best Christmas ever.

In love and gratitude,
Antonia

PS: Even a crooked tree is a beautiful tree.

I know I have a lot of strength left.

2009-12-01T20:36:00.007+01:00

I should be crying but I just can't let it show
I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things I should've said that I never said
All the things we should've done that we never did
All the things I should've given but I didn't

Oh
My darling make it go
Make it go away

Give me these moments back
Give them back to me
Give me that little kiss
Give me your hand

I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left
I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left

Sometimes I don't know what to hold on. Sometimes I don't know what's right and what's wrong. Sometimes I don't know what to believe in.

The answer seems too easy to be true: It's love.

I want to hold on to it, I want to know it's right, I want to believe in it.

PS: That's an optimistic post. I do have a lot of strength left.

"Waar zijn mijn mensen?"

2009-11-02T11:41:00.025+01:00

... as in the Dutch live version of Bushwalla's "Tiger Spots" (to be uploaded by Emile).

It all started with this:

Billy and I have just set a new date for my LRC in Amsterdam: 31 october He'll be in Europe till half november

That was posted by Emile in RKOP back in July.

Time warp. 30 October.
A girl packs up her things having "ants in her pants", like my old Biology teacher used to say.

The next day.
6 o'clock. Alarm bell. Gosh, so early. Who cares...

I left the house around 8 and prayed that neither the bus nor the train would be delayed, 'cause I still had to get the tickets and money at the Frankfurt main station. They weren't and I was happy. I stepped into the train, had a moment of embarassment like every other day when I asked the waiter in the train about my ticket (why the heck do they all wear the same uniforms? So contraproductive.) Found and empty seat, sat down and started my laptop in order to catch up with "Heroes" again, I had forgotten so much. Another moment of embarassment when Nikki/Jessica was taking her clothes off in the show - I bet the guy next to me thought "What the heck???". Ah, doesn't matter. Another funny anecdote: The Dutch train official guy made me pay the child's fee from the boarder to Utrecht, which cracked me up. How humbling. I texted Emile and that was when he shot me back that I had to keep my eyes open for Billy and Bruski riding bikes in the city.
Train ride was great. I actually wanted to sleep, because I stayed up so late the night before, but I just couldn't. The Pilot episode was very long and I didn't want to miss the Utrecht station.

I arrived at about 1 o'clock. Took my stuff and made my way through the insanely strange station, it's hard to explain why it is so strange, you'd have to go see yourself. Here's a small impression:

Weird lighting, too, but I love it nonetheless.

On with the story. I strolled through town and saw all those little shops, brick walls and cobblestone streets. Very pretty. Then I came to the canal. I didn't find out if there is only one or a few ones, because there was also one passing Emile's house more or less. The small streets on both sides were very crowded, especially people riding bikes dominated my vision. So "Be on the lookout for Billy and Bruski" turned out to be harder than I would've thought. I visited the church and spent quite some time listening to the choir in there. It was a very mixed one, from little girls to older ladies and men accompanied by a great string and horn arrangement.

I had some Dutch fries with mayo after that and then sat down to rest my feet and my shoulders, because they were starting to hurt from the long walk with my heavy bag. I loved watching people pass by and seeing a bit of the life in this beautiful town.

After some text messages back and forth and another journey through the station, Emile and Lisa picked me up with the car and we drove to Emile's parents' house. I stepped in and immediately felt at home. What a nice welcome by the whole family. We all set down and had a few Proseccos, which ironically helped my headache, and talked about anything and everything. Emile told me that Billy'd still be asleep due to the jetlag and stuff. He showed up about half an hour later totally sleepy and with bed hair, so funny. First thing, he gave out hugs to everyone and turning to me a "I like your shirt." It didn't feel weird at all. I wasn't exited or anything. It was so casual. A few people sitting in a living room together and chatting, as easy as that.
I told Billy about Julz and a few incredible coincidences, how my mum loves "Self Deprecating Hip-Hop", we discussed the meaning of it a bit, he said that he'll sport Elfish ears that night and that Lord of the Rings puts him to sleep, that Jon Marro is writing a movie script about a horn fish (or what was it called, Emile?), he told us about his first record he recorded with Jason before "Waiting For My Record To Come", about the house in San Diego and the hot tub, the cats and the Avocado trees...
We had an amazing dinner after that, Emile's dad had been hunting and his mom made pastry. We also had pumpkin soup from the pumpkins Lisa and Emile prepared for downstairs.

See the pumpkins? =)

There had already been a few people gathered, more or less all of them from the Dutch Mraz message board. It was very nice meeting people, they were all incredibly friendly. Even though they spoke their language most of the time, it didn't get boring... Klaartje was always there to translate for me when a joke was told.

Billy came downstairs at around 8.30 after meditating and doing yoga for half an hour, what he told us during breakfast the next day. He started off with a nice poem and a few jokes which Emile translated into Dutch beforehand. I didn't get anything but everyone was dying laughing, so I couldn't help it. Apparently he said of himself that he was cheaper than a Polish hooker (did I get that right?) and stuff... hilarious.
He played two sets of more than 60 minutes. Great. I didn't smile and laugh that much in a long time, that guy is so addicting. At the end of the first set he payed "Self-Deprecating Hi-Hop" which he dedicated to my mum, so funny, I cracked up. You can check out the video here:

He also played "Jesus Bo Beezus", a total audience pleaser I guess.

After a short break he continued the fun. It was all about participation now. I got to play the flute for him - or with him, Tim took over his guitar and Billy freestyled, Klaartje sang "Mayhem Is Beautiful" with him, Spiders Doing Pushups and stuff, Emile and Billy juggling together... it was SO much fun. Of course he also did his balloon tricks and the guitar balancing on his chin. Here are some pics:

He closed the show with "Fall Through Glass" and a last joke.

Most of the people left pretty fast, I enjoyed talking to Emile after that and Billy telling us about and playing some new songs, which he said doesn't really like yet. I thought they were amazing. He gave me his guitar a little later, but I couldn't think of what to play, so I just played the "Beautiful Mess" intro, earning a "Hey, I know that song!" and a funny story about how somebody once wanted him to sing Mraz songs in a coffee shop or something.

When everyone was gone, we went up to the living room again, where Bruski entertained us with his stories. Darn, this guy has a lot to tell! He explained how Billy's former last name was Polish for "Without a nose - but in a cute way", haha, from now on Billy will always Mr. "Without a nose - but in a cute way". However, I felt my eyes closing little by little. We agreed to get up at around 9 to still have time for breakfast before Billy and I had to leave for the station.

The next morning Emile's mum amused Billy and me with these sugar drops that you put on bread. Never seen or tasted anything like that before, very funny. But it was good! We also had her amazing cheescake. Geez... What a wonderful woman. It was great being surrounded by incredibly friendly, polite and welcoming persons.

But then unfortunately the time had come to leave for the station, Billy took off for the airport from there and I back home. In the car he told us how he loved the European weather during fall, because they didn't have weather like that in California. Also the town and all the little details. I felt the same.

We took this photo and accompanied Billy to his platform, hugged and said goodbye to each other... My train left at 1, so I still had time to get confused in this station. Awesome.
The ride back home was nice, but I was pretty exhausted and fired up at the same time. Strange feeling.

It was a perfect weekend with stunning people. Thank you. I will be back in two weeks. And when I say I will be back, I WILL be back. =)

With much love&gratitude,
Antonia

"It's about time to give my love away. It's the right time for you to come and stay. You are alone, I feel your pain, so come back."

It comes and goes in waves...

2009-10-16T21:49:00.003+02:00

... taken from Greg Laswell album "Three Flights from Alto Nido".

Life is hard.

University has started for me and it turned out much more difficult than I would've expected. Creating a time table is... almost like art. You REALLY want to get it done, doesn't matter what, but you just can't. It's something bigger than you.
Still I had a lot of positive experiences, I made a few friends I guess and due to my good orientation I've never felt completely lost. Plus, it's all a matter of looking at it. If something doesn't work out this semester, just do it next semester, whatever. Nobody cares anyway.

In order to come back to the title... When I think of waves, I think of ups and downs. There have been a lot of ups and downs in my life this year - a stroke of faith (literally) and a lot of family issues being downs, but meeting amazing people and incredible memories being ups. I'm very grateful for that.

Waves also stand for things coming back... That the first moment won't be the last. This is what I hold on to when I think of a lot of things. Seeing treasured people again, experienceing awesome concerts, or simply a state of happiness.

I know it doesn't always come easily. I know what I'm speaking of. Today my dad had an attack again which brought him back to hospital. Sadly, that is the other side of the coin - bad things are likely to come back, too. But you have to think about it - you can only be stronger and prepared next time. Even if there is little hope.

Just BE Love and love will come back to you. In waves... so you can be sure it will.

Leaving you with this amazing song:

Without you things go hazy...

2009-09-24T23:41:00.010+02:00

What if I fall and hurt myself
Would you know how to fix me?,
What if I went and lost myself,
Would you know where to find me?
If forgot who I am,
Would you please remind me?
Oh, 'cause without you things go hazy...

Rosi Golan - Hazy (feat. William Fitzsimmons)

I'm in love with this woman's music. She reminds me of myself in so many aspects... she always wanted to make music, but didn't think she had the voice to do it. At 20 she picked up the guitar and started to write her own songs, which she didn't even know she could.

Hopefully I'll find something and someone eventually that will make me feel whole and comfortable for the rest of my life...

Someday I'll wish upon a star...

2009-09-07T15:39:00.015+02:00

Some of you might know that I picked up the ukulele a few months ago. I've been in love ever since, but especially since I found an awesome community called "Ukulele Underground". Those people are incredibly nice and helpful.
The video above was recorded by many members on behalf of the sudden death of a fellow member, Captain Google. I think it's a wonderful tribute and you should all see it!

However, what I want to blog about today is a wish list. So here are some things I'm dying to possess or I'm just drooling over...

Surf-green Fender Stratocaster - doesn't it look awesome??

Banjolele - the sound is so cute!!

Trip to NYC with two amazing ladies around New Year's - it would be the perfect finish of an exciting year!

Meeting these amazing people again and being able to see them live...

Going to Norway and getting to know all the crazy folks up there =)

Being a better person.

Well... a girl can dream, right?

Question: What do YOU wish for? What are YOU grateful for today?

15 (extremely) random facts about me!

2009-08-27T19:26:00.005+02:00

As in Marianne's blog right here.

I sleep on an orthopedic pillow which was invented by the NASA, no kidding!!
I coach the most awesome girl in English and French and I love her mom very dearly!
I once was given the game "Cluedo" as a present, but to this day haven't been able to play it. I just don't understand it!!
I just saw a military plane. It was faaast!!
I sometimes water the plant in my room with leftover mineral water that's been rotting there. That sounds reeeaaally weird.
I've got major problems with making phonecalls. MAJOR problems. I always try to avoid them.
I'm a perfectionist when it comes to small things. Like spreading the dough in the cake tin.
If I was a Hollywood woman I'd be Cate Blanchet. I mean come on, she's Australian, she's got a great hubby, she's got 3 adorable children, she lives green, she's incredibly funny, she's got an Oscar. She is awesome.
I was the only one at my confirmation (yeah, the church thing) who did not wear black or grey - hell yeah, I wore RED!!
I own a lot of Lord of the Rings jewelry. The One Ring, the Evenstar, Evenstar-earrings and Elvish earrings and necklace.
I'm a sucker for curly hair on guys.
I want to start with Yoga when I'm in university (FU, Richard^^). Ugh, it's out. Now I gotta do it...
I once swore myself that when I'm in heaven I want to meet Anne Frank.
I really am not the skinniest person, but I kicked 3/4 of the skinny girl's asses in PE and got better marks. Suck it!
I learned the hard way what effect it has when you take pills against abdominal pain AND alcohol. See here:

(Meaning you go totally crazy drunk.)

Every day should be the New Year, so happy New Year!

2009-08-25T21:47:00.015+02:00

Quote by Ian Axel introducing his song "This Is The New Year".

Think about it. It's true. I mean what does the New Year stand for? It's being open-minded, open-hearted, it's colourful and bright, it's loud and exciting. And most importantly: It stands for being with your friends and family.

Last week I experienced such a New Year, but let me start at the beginning.

I met up with one of my best friends Anna at the Frankfurt main station at midnight to go on a bus to Hamburg, about 500km north from us. The ride was uncomfortable and weird and I didn't get to sleep much, so what we did right away when we arrived in Hamburg in the morning is go to sleep in a decent bed in our hostel.

When we got up again at about noon, we decided to see as much of the city as possible, as whe had never been there before. So we walked through the shopping streets, went to the city hall, crossed a lot of bridges and relaxed in a nice park, before we came to the harbor. It was the hottest day in the week and maybe also one of the hottest days in the past few weeks, so we enjoyed a few breezes watching the ferries and people go by (one of our favorite hobbies is people-watching xD).

After that we headed back to our hostel to get ready for what was coming up - a benefit event called "Feels Like Home" featuring two artists we were excited to see live - Greg Holden and Ian Axel.
So when we got there and sat down first near the bar and later in the front row beneath the stage, I decided to tweet that we were about to see these guys live. What came totally as a surprise was Greg tweeting back to me saying that they were backstage both reading my tweet. - We freaked a bit (hm, maybe I freaked a bit more) and couldn't wait for the show to start. I shot him a tweet back saying we were front row and that he should wave at us.

Greg came onstage first and enchanted us with his voice and songs. He also expressed his gratitude for being here in Germany and for all of us to have come, as it was his first time playing here.

"He sang a nice set of about 5-6 including the song "Bar On A" for which he brought Ian and another talented singer-songwriter called Jonatha Brooke onstage. The three of them had never met before, even though at least Greg and Ian had already played at the same bars and even share the same friends. The result was absolutely amazing. They sounded as if they had never done anything else.

When he came to his second-last song "The Art Of Falling" I cheered a bit, which got his attention. He gave us a big shout-out which you can check out in this video right here:

As an encore Greg covered "Walking On Sunshine" and made the whole audience participate - what a treasure!! You can check that one (and all the other videos) out here.

After two very interesting readings by Daniel Tobias Etzel and Heinz Strunk, plus an incredible performance by Jonatha Brooke, Ian Axel came onstage.

When he began to play the piano, the whole room fell into an appreciative silence. He told us that he had been playing since he was a little kid and that when he started singing about three years ago it changed his whole life. You could feel that. You could feel that this was where he belonged and what he was meant to do.

It all came crashing down on me when Ian brought Greg back up onstage to do the song "This Is The New Year". You can check out the performance here (to at least understand a part of what I'm talking about):

I had tears streaming down my face and was totally moved by it, a feeling I had never experienced before.

In the end Ian played a song on this Ukulele called "Say Something" (you can also check it out here), which I ended up covering a few days later when I was back home (if you want to see it, it's here). It means the world to me and owns a big place in my heart.

After the show everybody met up at the bar and had a couple of drinks. We waited for a quiet moment to walk up to the guys and thank them and talk a litte. They were the nicest people ever. Ian even remembered me from Twitter and said "Aren't you the girl from Twitter?" and then asked me if he could give me a hug. What a sweetheart.

As you can see the event was a total success. Not only for "Feels Like Home", but also for us listeners. We gained the respect and love for incredible artists and we will definitely be seeing them again.

So after I uploaded the cover of me singing Ian's song "Say Something" he shot me back a very adorable message thanking me for the support, assuring me that we'll meet again and prasing me for my cover.

"We all have purpose in each other." he wrote. So true.

Thank you. All of you. "What an experience that was." I agree.

- Antonia -

Ian - me - Greg - Anna

Yes, I'm grounded, got my wings clipped.

2009-08-16T18:24:00.012+02:00

Taken out of John Mayers "Bigger Than My Body".

Today I want to show you two pictures which kind of sum up what I'm about these days.

Translation:

"Fanclub-president Antonia H. dragged onto the stage during Jason Mraz concert! Exclusive photos only here."

- Wanna know the background to this?? -

Some of you might know that I graduated a few weeks ago. The graduation dance was put up by all of us, but there was a committee of graduates which organized everything and - without our knowledge - surprised us with a little leaflet. According to our "graduation motto" Ability - what else? and the motto of the evening Night of the proms (yeah, really fancy...) they printed it with sentences to every single person in our grade. They were meant to be quotes taken out of the newspaper from 2014 - meaning what we will be known for in 2014!

I'm gonna be the head of the Jason Mraz fanclub - yaaaaay! lol.

Does this quote seem familiar to you? - It's one of John Mayer's brilliant mind. I figured it'd be very appropriate for my site in our graduation book, mothaf***ers.

Oh and... can you find further hints to my persona in this pic?

'Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for...

What are YOU grateful for today?

2009-08-14T21:23:00.006+02:00

My Dad. Ever since he's back home from hospital, I feel like we have a better connection than we had ever had before.

My friends. Yep, you, I mean you!

That PC-profi guy. He didn't treat me like a fool and was actually really nice.

The possibility of doing what I want. I will learn at least one new language, Norwegian for sure =) Shoutout to all my awesome friends up there!!

Going to Hamburg next Thursday. Again, that will be an awesome trip with my friend Anna!

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

- Tell me, what are YOU grateful for today? -

Celebrate the malleable reality!!

2009-08-12T15:42:00.002+02:00

... taken out of Jason Mraz' "Live High"

Today I was told that I've officially been accepted to University in Frankfurt!! I'm going to be studying American Studies, Skandinavian Studies and Pedagogics - YAAAY!!!
I'm so happy right now, I can't believe that it worked out!!

I feel like I've achieved so much in the past few months, even if it wasn't always the best I could do. I know that this is right for me, though and I'm really looking forward to it.

Have no envy, no fear.

"I'm a Ghettoblaster..."

2009-08-12T14:19:00.010+02:00

"... a microphone comander,
a chain reacter,
when I'm in love..."

I'm proud to announce that Mr. Billy "Bushwalla" Galewood, roommate and homie of noother than Jason Mraz, is mostly likely going to play a concert in Berlin in early November and I'll be among the lucky persons to put up this gig. Let's hope that everything turns out fine and we'll have a night to remember!!

Check him out here!!

To see who I'm talking about, this is Bushwalla's video for "Mayhem Is Beautiful" featuring Dawn Mitschele:

There'll also be a promo video of him done by me soon...

Not all those who wander are lost.

2009-08-12T12:18:00.000+02:00

Hi dear reader,

My name is Antonia and I'm 19 years old. I'm about to be a student at the Frankfurt university in Germany, but right now I'm just enjoying life as much as I can.
My passion is music and everything that has to do with it - meaning concerts (and travelling), playing the guitar, making new friends, singing, dancing and stealing things...

I'm here to tell you what's going on in my world and to express my gratitude.

Namaste,
Antonia

I'd like to leave you with this picture which portraits two of my best friends and me in Brighton/UK: